Sometimes I feel that it's hard to let go of the past, no matter how painful it was, and in some ways still is.
I have a problem letting go of things in the past, mistakes I did, opportunities I didn't grab. I often think of myself as a no-good loser who never finishes anything. I rarely turn around and look ahead at what lies in front of me. The few times that has happened, I find myself still looking back over my shoulder. And seeing what lies behind me I lose hope. I lose my faith in good times.
Lately I have come to a conclusion.
The way I think about myself and the world around me, is like riding a bull heading for the cliffs and the deep abyss. I hold on because it hurts less than letting go. But I have also realized that if I don't let go, I will go over the cliff along with the bull. If I let go it will hurt, but the wounds will heal. If I let go I might land in a bush or a lake, and it will hurt even less.
Do I have the courage to let go of the bull horns?